Personality assessment

I'm a North, and the first time I learned that I was shocked and proud.  It means I'm a bulldozer, pushing through things (those things might even be people) to get whatever needs done, done.  What is a North and how did I learn this?  At work every year we go through a training that includes the use of the Leadership Compass training.  It's my favorite training each year simply because I get the reminder that I'm part of a small group of motivated people.  I'm not always very motivated on my own.  Left to my own devices I've spent all day in bed.  So it's good to be reminded that I can also get many things done, on time, at short notice.

That is in my work life though, and I suppose really I turn that off as soon as I leave the building.  At team meetings I'm not the charge forward bulldoze everyone sort.  Okay well we are not mentioning the time I shouted (yes SHOUTED) "NO!".  I was justified.  I was.  When you are told at just after 11 am that the trainers only have another hour and a half of material to present for the entire day, you don't say a 30 minute lunch is needed.  You DON'T!  No you pull on your big person drawers and you blaze through.  In the end I was heard, sort of, they settled on a 20 minute break.  Generally speaking though, I'm not my super North at team meetings, I'm content to sit and listen, input as needed and let others take the lead.

In my personal life, things are different.  I'm an extreme South, and a submissive.  It got me wondering if all Souths might be submissive.  Even as I type that I think nope, I don't think they are, I think they would be doormats.  However that could be my North coming out.  I abhor weakness, which could lead me down a whole road of possible causes of self hatred.  I mean submissive, means weak doesn't it?  Isn't that why they need someone to tell them what to do?  (Oh if you could see the grin on my face as I am typing...)  Submissives aren't weak.  Think about it.  (Really, stop right here and think a moment about this)  Do you have the courage to put your care and decisions into the hands of another? Do you trust someone else enough to let them decide what you can take and for how long?

For the record I am not talking Fifty Shades of Stupid, submission.  I hated that book.  I loved Mr. Grey, the things I could do with a man like that.  If he'd let me, of course.  (Laughing)  If I would have been holding a book, instead of my Kindle (which I LOVE, by the way, thank you my Aussie friend, for encouraging that purchase!) I would have thrown the book across the room at the end.  She is a fool, that character.  I wanted to shake her, tell her to move aside and let a real woman show her how it's done.  So naturally I feel no desire to read the other two books in the series.  I hear she ruins Grey, pussy whips, I imagine.  Sure I want love in my relationship, but I also want spice and pain and to be driven.  So my dominant should love me, love me enough to call me a worthless cunt and take a whip to me.  Or say nothing while gagging me with his cock down my throat.  It's not too much to ask, is it?

At our last team meeting, we discussed the results of three of the four personality tests we were asked to take.  My favorite, hands down, was the Enneagram, I found it to be the hardest one.  A lot of the statements could have been me.  We all say that, I know because at lunch another team member borrowed my Mac, took the test and kept saying, these both could be me.  However it was particularly challenging to me because I've changed, fundamentally, since June.  So I'm trying hard to be the person I always wanted to be, the one who demands action and adventure because life is short and you never know when you won't be part of it anymore.  I must have did something right on that test though because it announced that I am a type Four, the Individualist.  Aside from a few minor points of contention I would agree.  I am a Four.  Now I am curious about what others I know might be.  My co worker, member of the team I work with daily, is a Helper, and we both got the Investigator as our second.  We work well together, her and I, this is our second year as a team and it's been great so far.  I'm grateful for her, though I pray she never read this (it would be offensive to her for personal reasons).    I am very curious as to what another of my friends might be. (hint hint, all you have to do is click on the link and magically you will be taken to the test, please?)

At our meeting they had us each find the others that were us.  My group was small, there were three of us, all women, and one of them was really not sure she belonged there, as I was reading the description of us she was shaking her head.  That's not me, she said, and I, you will understand this if you are a Four, or if you read the description of Four, all I wanted to do was help her find out where she did belong!  So really I think there were just two in my group.  We weren't the smallest group though, there was a group with only one lone soul, the Ones.  The Reformer.  Only one of them in our entire team of 50 people.  There is a compatibility section on that site too, it is meant for romantic relationships but you can kinda draw lines to how it would apply to a co worker, which is why they mentioned it at our meeting.  I learned that I might be very interested in a Reformer of my own.  The one in our group is taken, and young enough to be my son!

I got totally sidetracked here.  I wanted, when I started this, to talk about being a North, but being a bit more forgetful now days I am trying to embrace some of the West that is in me.  I try at least once a year to embrace lists and agendas and planners.  I find one I love, buy it and use it for about a week, or a month, then I just carry it around until I admit I will never use it again and it gets tossed out, or buried at the bottom of the closet.  So I didn't want to waste that kind of money this year, mostly because I haven't got money to waste.  I searched online for a free planner that I liked.  I found one that was pretty good, printed it out and quickly realized the things that needed to change to make it workable for me.  Then I created my own!  I keep tweaking it, as I use it, improving it to keep myself using it.  I enjoyed creating it.  Probably enjoyed it too much.  But then I enjoy creating all manner of handouts and flyers for work so, should it be surprising?  I wonder if there is a possible future career in that sorta thing?  As soon as I figure out how to post my Planner Page here, I will.  I want to share it with the world, or the one or two other people who stumble upon my blog.

I know I have written for well over my 20 minute suggestion and I've said a lot today.  If I keep speaking it's possible I'll run out of things to say and then what will I toss up here tomorrow?  Best if I sign off now while I still can!