To do before I die...

I've always had some form of a life list, seemed the thing to do, ya know, things to do before I die.  Then I did die and well I set about it with greater determination.  Things to do before I die it became this thing, that should be done sooner rather than later because later might not come.

I'm having a bit of trouble executing my bucket list items though, mostly because everyday life gets in the way and I let it.  It's funny how life does that, prevents you from seeing the big picture when every day is filled with so many details that must be attended to.  Well I don't want to get to the end (again) and not have done a few things.  Silly things really, I remember talking to someone about how one goes about living every day to the fullest?  How do I, who doesn't jump out of airplanes or desire to climb mountains, how do I live every day like tomorrow might not come?

I still haven't an answer, I honestly don't know and everyone around me is dealing with their own every day drama and bullshit, so distracted by it that the big picture is not even a thought at least once a day.  This is a problem for me, because I want to know the answer, I want to know how to step away from the moment and discover the divine.

For now I'll settle for the start of a life list that is visible to at least one person I feel accountable to. I should wander off on some conversational path about how odd it is to feel accountable to someone...but I want to do the life list thing so, life list it shall be.  I'll save that accountable thing for another day when I'm feeling like exposing my tender bits.

My holiday bucket list

• Make homemade marshmallows
• Make a fruitcake
• Knit a pair of socks
• Not wait to do all my wrapping until Christmas Eve at 10pm

Does anyone else suffer from a block whenever they sit down to write an important list like this?  Now I must let it slip from my mind so all my goals will return.  Or maybe it's just that I'm trying to keep all the errrrm kinky stuff off this list?

• Be truly grateful for what I receive 
• Finally read a Jane Austen book
• Bake all of the things I say I will bake
• Make those candies as gifts

So this just came into my head I have been working really hard on not being jealous of someone who appears to have a stronger writing talent than I do.  Or maybe what I should have said is, I'm finally getting old enough to understand that I should be proud and supportive of someone who is utilizing their talent.  And I remind myself that I'm a good writer, because I'm an honest writer who when focused can move a soul.  Or maybe just a cock....I digress.  I remind myself that while I'm good I've never really pushed myself, worked on bettering my craft.  So that is something I'd like to add to the bucket list, to make it not just holidays--

• Write daily, at least once a week respond to a random writing prompt

Perhaps by placing these few things up here where all can see I might actually get them done, at least a few, several are too late for this year.